The Virgin enters the Cone Zone

#41 Never Have I Ever: Seen Conan O'Brien live

Foreplay: As mentioned in a previous post, I've been... hmm, how should I put this... I've been completely head-over-heals in love bordering on slightly obsessed for a short phase with Conan O'Brien since I was 13. He has shaped my view and attraction to tall, self-deprecating men who make weird noises during awkward social situations (people who know me in real life and thus know my dating history can attest to this).

"Go see Conan O'Brien live" clocks in at #2 right after "backpack through Europe" on my original hand-written bucket list that I made at 15.

In high school, I'd watch him practically every night after listening to Love Line. And although I couldn't continue my devout viewership in college, I made sure to tune in whenever I had a chance. I even followed him during his move to the Tonight Show. In fact, I was ecstatic that he was in my city now! I was determined to finally go see him live when I could take a day off work.

And so I was heart broken when he left NBC. Although it was a shame that he was gone from TV, I think I was more so upset at the fact that my bucket list would have one less check mark to claim.

That is, of course, until Conan announced his "Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television" Tour via Team Coco.

The Down and Dirty: Um. UM!!! Conan is just as funny, if not more so, than I imagined. Without the FCC breathing down his neck, he was able to be as inappropriate and curse-laden as he wanted to be. And let's just say, seeing and Conan say "fuck" was pretty magical.


He brought back Andy Richter, the Masturbating Bear, and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. But he also had a few guest stars up his sleeve: Seth Green, Aziz Ansari, Sarah Silverman, Jonah Hill, Jack McBrayer. But his biggest guest, by far, was Jim freakin' Carey.

More variety show than stand up comedy, it was so stimulating that even shrooms couldn't have made it funnier. Coco joked, sang, danced, and even flew at one point. More importantly, he stole my 13 year old heart. Sigh...

The Afterglow: I will be framing my poster and ticket very shortly. You think I'm kidding but I'm not.

Bonus: I work in the same space as Seth Green's company and although I see him almost everyday, I've never had the nerve to say anything to him. However, while sitting at my desk the next day still basking in the glory of Coco, Seth Green skips out wearing his Team Coco shirt.

We lock eyes for a moment and he says hello. I return the salutation and then quickly add, "I like your shirt."

He pauses at the door and smiles. "Oh yeah?"

Stay cool, DV. Stay cool. "Yeah, I was there last night."

"Oh, cool!"

And then I blurted out, "Yeah, it was so mind blowing!" Followed by a thumbs up.

I am no longer allowed to talk to celebrities.

The Virgin goes eye to eye with Bill Nye the Science Guy

I'm back! Because of bad decisions, long work hours, and what can only be crappy karma, I was hit with a combination of allergies, a cold, and losing my voice -- the latter through smoke inhalation nonetheless. Needless to say, I did nothing but drink tea and sleep last week. But I'm back with a vengeance with my most memorable DV task so far!

#36 Never Have I Ever: Met Bill Nye the Science Guy

Foreplay: There is no doubt that I am ruled by the right side of my brain. Mathematics and science simply elude me although I admittedly make no attempt to gather them.

However, there's no need for any of that mumbo-jumbo anymore since I learned everything I ever needed to know about science from one my few childhood idols.

Honestly, my list of childhood idols is quite short:

• Conan O'Brien
• Adam Corolla
• Bill Nye the Science Guy

Now, does it makes sense to you why I am the way I am?

The Down and Dirty: A glorious email from my alma mater invited me to come hear Bill Nye the Science Guy speak. There was no question in my mind that I was going to be there bright and early that morning.

Daywalker and her sister saved me a seat in the surprisingly small lecture hall when I arrived 30 minutes before the talk. Although the space wasn't completely full yet, there was no way it was going to be able to house everyone who wanted to see Bill Nye. And I was right. People were sitting in the aisles, crowding around the back, and -- no joke -- climbing over the back hall ledge to peek over the seats. There must have been at least 250 people in there.

The whole room was buzzing in anticipation. I could practically feel the child-like excitement vibrating from every twenty-something year old who had grown up watching the science show.

Finally, Bill Nye ran through the crowded aisles in his pressed suit and bow tie. The dude does not age! It's like he was cryogenically frozen next to Walt Disney, only thawed out to give hilariously enthused speeches in front of starry-eyed students.

Bill Nye's talk, titled " Our Planet Isn't What It Used to Be, So Let's Change the World!", was -- to put it simply -- absofuckinglutely astounding. He was charming, brilliant, and hilarious all the while focusing on astronomy, global warming, and power consumption. There was never a dull moment during his 2-hour presentation and it made my heart sing to see that Bill Nye still possessed the ability to present the most convoluted information in a fun and coherent way. Most of all, he made us feel like kids again -- blindly optimistic that we could actually make a difference.

The Afterglow: After the talk and subsequent Q&A session, a large crowd gathered around the man himself to shake his hands and snap a picture. I was obviously no different.

Daywalker grimaced at the mass of people but I was determined to fight my way up there to get a photo and tell Bill Nye that although he wants us to change the world, he has already done it himself. After staggering around for 10 minutes, I used my newfound assertiveness to force Daywalker and her sister up for a picture before stepping up to the stage myself.

Unfortunately, there was no time to pour my 8-year-old heart out to the man who made me build a make-shift seismograph out of bottle caps and kill a handful of my mother's white roses by tie-dying them. Instead, I gave him a half hug for my picture which he returned and offered a general thank you. I practically skipped out of the lecture hall.

It was an amazing experience to finally meet a figure that so strongly shaped your education and outlook on life. And not just you but probably 1/3 of your peers, too. Although I didn't pursue science in the long run, I still have a love for discovery and global impact.

I think that's why Bill Nye the Science Guy is so beloved by those who grew up watching the kooky bow-tied scientist and his antics: he made us enthusiastic that we could make a difference and change the world. He made me feel like a kid again.